Why Your Child May Not Like Writing — And 3 Ways To Help

Do you want your child to like writing and even do it for fun?

Most of us would say yes. We're happy if our kids like anything that will help them in life.

But what if kids resist writing? At this point, many parents are at a loss.

You don't have to be, though. Read on to learn three simple ways to help your child master writing and feel good about it.

Note: if there are issues such as dyslexia or vision problems, specialized remedies are called for. We're talking about a simpler need, here.

How To Help Kids Find The Fun In Writing

As home-schooling parents, we faced this predicament when our daughter was six and seven. Before she learned to read, she couldn't believe it would actually happen. Learning to write was pretty much the same.

In both cases, I refused to accept defeat. I'm creative and also tenacious. I tried a lot of approaches and came up with a few ways to help her break through her shell of disbelief, inhibition and reluctance. They work for every age group. Here are the three top techniques:

Remove the element of success or failure from the situation.

Kids usually want to please us or avoid being wrong. They've already accepted the idea of success vs. failure. It creeps in despite our best efforts.

The key to getting past the success/failure mindset is switching to an effort/mastery mindset, instead.

Many children (and parents) adopt the notion that whatever they were born with, they're stuck with. Their abilities are fixed and unchanging. If they don't meet some standard in their — or our — minds, they've failed. Failure means they're not as good as they were hoping. And they're afraid you might think less of them for it.

The solution is to teach them a new attitude: the idea that working at a skill will make them improve. They can learn. Setbacks are just steps on the way to mastery. Failure is replaced by trying and making progress.

It's easy to teach the effort/mastery mindset for writing. Simply praise kids for the time and effort they put into writing. Share your enjoyment about today's work. Tell them you're looking forward to what they'll come up with next time. It's exciting to see kids thinking of things that never occurred to you.

Don't worry about mistakes. Hardly anyone learns everything at once. Your child will learn little by little, so long as he or she keeps writing.

Make writing the vehicle for getting somewhere they already want to be.

Writing is the most fun for kids when they're passionate about the topic. It can be dolls, trucks, pets or friends. Teens might be more into social activities or the newest song or app. It can even be amazing ideas you never suspected were lurking in their sweet heads.

The key is to hitch their writing to what already matters to them. It's OK to build a bridge from their current interests to what you want them to know about. Just keep in mind that their likes are as important as the things they need to learn.

When our daughter was younger, she was interested in dragons, clothes, romance and mermaids, one after the other. We encouraged her to write about each of those topics, and she did. Now she writes for a nationally known teen newspaper, and is starting to edit other students' work.

The power of interest and curiosity can't be overstated.

Get them used to writing little by little.

Kids may not be used to writing. They can feel intimidated by the thought of filling up a page or even a few lines with words. The mechanics of writing, too, can be a lot to keep in mind.

Make it easier for them. Let them start with a couple of lines, partly misspelled words, a bit of alternative grammar.

What's important is going through the motions of writing and saying something they came up with themselves. Writing can become as easy as talking. Eventually, writing ten-page papers will be easy for your child as paragraphs are now.

Help kids learn the mastery mindset, support them in writing about what matters to them, and encourage them to take baby steps. It works for more than just walking. They'll master words, spelling, composition and rhetoric, and it won't be a big deal.

Learning in this way gives the best results. Your child will be capable of writing without having to think much about how to do it. After a while, it will simply be another skill that comes naturally.

That's what learning is all about.

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